Shepard and Miranda Talks
by Gasgonia
Summary: "I never knew the butcher of Torfan had a heart. Then again, he is the Lion of Elysium." One-shot.


Shepard and Miranda Talks

**So this is my first ever story so be gentle with me if my grammar and spelling isn't the best.**

**So this Is John Shepard, raised on Mindoir, butcher of Torfan and the Lion of Elysium.**

**Hope you guys enjoy!**

**'**_taking talking talking_' means Inner monologue

'talking talking talking' is there to easily spot the question inside the paragraph

'_Talking_' means emphasis on the word

* * *

John Shepard walks through the halls of The Normandy SR-2 after finally managing to recruit The Assassin, Thane Krios, contemplating on what to talk about with Miranda this time.

He would frequently visit her in her quarters with Shepard hoping he would get closer to unraveling the mystery behind The '_Ice Queen_'.

When he first woke up to see her with such concern and emotion coming out of those beautiful cobalt blue eyes he was more than curious to wanting to know who this woman is.

Then when he first saw her in person instead of a voice in his helmet, he saw such anger, frustration in those beautiful cobalt blue eyes that it caught him off guard.

So when he finally managed to talk to her one on one, to say that he was curious was an understatement. What happened to the woman with concerned features?What happened to the love and care that he swore he saw from those eyes even if it was just for a moment that if you weren't looking carefully you never would have saw it.

Because the woman that he was talking to is nothing like that at ALL. There is nothing showing from those eyes anymore, nothing what so ever from those beautiful features of hers giving him anything. Just a cool icy hard exterior showing nothing but irritation and annoyance.

And her attitude towards him plus her wanting to put a control chip in his brain didn't exactly help. When he heard that, Shepard was more than livid, because memories of Mindoir came rushing through his brain. Innocent men and children getting cut open in the skull with those bastards shoving control chips in their brain with the whole operation being done in less than 10 minutes with the innocent civilians being given nothing what so ever to help lessen the pain.

It took him everything he had, all of his years of training to not lash out at her, to not want to just shoot her on the spot just like the other Cerberus operatives that he has met in the past.

But he was still curious though. He still wanted to know who she is, who the '_real_' person is behind that icy exterior. He absolutely refused to believe that this is who she really is. He wanted to know if she was making the same mistakes that he was earlier in his career of being an Alliance marine.

Over the next few weeks of him asking her gently about her past, and from the little he got from her, he thinks that he finally managed to crack the curious case of Miranda Lawson. At least thought so.

He found out about her upbringing, the devil of a father that she had to deal with, her recruitment with Cerberus and why she was so loyal, always denying what Cerberus truly was. And he doesn't blame her one bit for being the way she is.

If someone told him when He was younger that his Mother was some kind of horrible criminal, a person who deserves to be executed, he would deny it passionately, refusing to believe that his mother was that kind of person. That the woman who raised him, the woman I look up to, who I relay on to make me feel better when I'm down was '_that guy_'.

So he understands.

The sight of Miranda's office brings him out of his inner ramblings. He takes a deep breath and hopes for the best that this time, he would break through that thick mask.

He rings the doorbell to her door asking permission to come in, even though he is the Captain of the ship, he respects her privacy.

"Come in." She replies with that intoxicating Australian accent of hers.

The door slides open revealing her sitting on that chair like always, with her working like always. He steps in asking.

"Miranda, do you have a minute?"

She looks up and frowns at him, with her contemplating why he keeps insisting on these 'talks' that they keep having when she made it crystal clear that she was not here to make friends.

She sighs as she gives up and decides to just ask him.

"Shepard...why?" She sighs as she cards her fingers through he beautiful raven colored hair.

"Um...why what?" He replies with a questioning gaze.

"Why do keep insisting with these talks? Why do you keep making an effort to be friendly with me when I clearly gave you more than one reason to stay away from me?" She asks with a perfectly sculpted eye brow.

Shepard knew that she would eventually ask that question. He was prepared to answer it but he wasn't counting on her asking it today.

"Because I know how you feel." Shepard says as he sighs as he slowly walks over to the window in her office looking out at the beautiful Nos Astra, Illium night lights.

He crosses his arms over his leaning on in the glass with his shoulder.

He continues. "I know how it feels to be called the ice queen."

"Or an Ice king in your case." She says amusingly.

He chuckles. "Yeah, that's what I meant." He says with a slight smirk showing on his handsome features.

"Let me tell you a little story about me Miranda." He says as he turns around and sits at the chair near her desk.

"After Mindoir, for the longest time all I wanted was revenge. All I wanted was to do the same to those four eyed bastards as to what they've done to us. To me."

"So when I reached 18, the first thing that I did was join the alliance in hopes that they would give me that chance. But when I saw first hand, the marines that I was stationed with I was pissed. I asked myself, 'These are the men and women that protect humanity?', because all I saw in my eyes were just a bunch of people joking around, not giving a care to the world. Thinking that they were better than everyone else simply because they had the guns."

"So it was then that I told myself that I will push my body and my mind to the highest everyday, to work my arse off 24/7 so that I could outrank everyone else, so that I could show everyone else what it truly means to be a marine."

"I never showed anyone in all the early years of my career my emotions. I didn't show them anything because I didn't want them to think that I was weak, I didn't want to know that I was just this kid who wished that everyday, that this was just a dream, that I would wake up one day in my old bed in my own room with my whole family still alive and kicking." I said with tears starting to form in my eyes.

"I'm sorry." She says softly as she reaches out and holds my forearm.

I take a moment to regain my composure, and blink away the tears. I smile at her weakly and say, "It's okay, I've made my peace with it...it's okay." I tell myself more than I tell her.

She smiles comfortingly one more time and squeezes gently before letting go.

"Then what happened?" She says gently.

"So I eventually reached high enough to have my own squad. My own squad to teach them what I taught myself. My own squad to push to their limits every damn day. I wasn't there to make make friends. I wasn't there to make nicey nice with anyone. I was there to be the best and to train the best. Nothing more nothing less."

"But it was because of that, because of my attitude that everyone started to talk about me behind my back. They started to say things like, I slept and seduced my way to the top. That that was the reason I made it to the top so quickly. That I was just a cold hearted arse hole. That I would most likely die alone with no one who gives a single crap about me."

"But I didn't care, I was there to be a Marine, to protect innocent civilians and make sure that another Mindoir would never happen again."

I pause as I let that meaning sink in.

"So when I heard about Torfan, about what they were planning, I kept asking to be apart of the squads who would get the privilege of giving what those Batarians deserve, I practically begged to be there. So when they finally told me that I would take part. I was more than happy."

"But when the day of the attack finally came, all the training that I had given and received, all the tactics that they taught me when straight out the window. I didn't care at all about the lives of my squad, I didn't care who would make it out alive. All I cared about was killing every single Batarians in my sight, marine and civilian, didn't matter to me, they were nothing but dead meat in my eyes."

"After Torfan I kept rationalizing It to myself, that the ends justify the means. That, that was what it meant to be a marine, to give it your all to protect the innocent."

"It wasn't until the court hearing in Elysium that I started to doubt myself, I started to question my motives, 'Was I doing this for myself or for humanity?' Because when I look at all of the faces of the men, women and children, all I see were people just like me, hoping that this was just a dream, that their loved ones were still live and it was just one big joke."

"It was then that I decided and prayed to every single higher being, every God that I knew to be given another chance to be a better man and to make up to my mistakes."

"And I think they answered my prayers because I was so close to avoiding being honorably discharged."

I take another pause to recollect my memories.

"I was taking a walk through the forest when the attack began. I was thinking of ways to show them how sincere I was, of how sorry I was, thinking of ways for them of give me another chance. It was a good thing I had my training to guide me because I wasn't aware of the drop pod that was about to squish me like a watermelon until the last second."

"One moment I was taking them on with my bare hands the next I was fortifying the capital city with all kinds of deadly weapons and traps from the fallen marines from the first wave of attackers."

"Before I knew I it I was being awarded and being congratulated '_and_' receiving all kinds of fancy smancy medals. Next thing I know I'm being called the lion of Elysium."

"Lion of Elysium huh? I thought they were calling you the 'Ice Queen'?" She teased with a beautiful smirk on her face.

"Ha..Ha..Ha, very funny." I say while shaking my head at her antics.

"So anyway, the point of all this was because of what I learned after Torfan and Elysium. I learned that I don't have to be such a hard arse to everyone, I don't have to push everyone around me away. That I could still be the best and give the best and still get the job done effectively while expressing my emotions. I realized that people wouldn't see me as weak, they wouldn't look at me any less just because I showed them who I really was. It tells them I was just being human, that I genuinely cared about them."

I look into her eyes hoping for her to understand. "And Miranda, in our line of work that is something that can't be bought, that no amount of money in the world could buy ." I smile reassuringly at her.

She breaks out a genuine smile this time and says sincerely, "Thanks for telling me Shepard, I appreciate it."

I smile and look into her cobalt blue eyes and say, "Your welcome Miranda."

And for a long moment we just stare into each other's eyes but the soft ping on my omnitool breaks the moment. I break off the moment as I check the time.

"Well I better go, it's getting late, we'll talk another time perhaps?" I say hopefully.

"Yeah, I'd like that Shepard, I'll be looking forward to it." She says truthfully with a smile.

My heart skips a beat at the success that I finally managed to do.

"Well you have a good night Miranda, I'll see you tomorrow." I say while standing up and heading to the door.

"You too Shepard." She says.

I smile one last at her before heading out.

'_This is the beginning of a beautiful friendship, hopefully even more_.' I think to myself.

* * *

Meanwhile, Miranda smiles to herself thinking about her latest conversation with Shepard.

'_I'll try Shepard, for you I'll try._' She thinks to herself while checking her email one last time before heading to bed but the sight before her destroys all positive thoughts going on inside her brain and brings her to a state of distress.

She quickly stands up from her chair and goes out of her office quickly to search for Shepard before he heads up to his cabin. She spots him just a few meters away from her office.

"Shepard!" She says with a slight panic coming out of her voice.

He turns and the sight before him is something he's never seen before. Miranda in a state of distress.

"Miranda, what's wrong?" I say to her gently while walking back to her.

"Um..I would like to have that talk now Shepard, it's important."

"Okay sure." We walk back into her office and she paces by the window.

"Miranda, what's wrong?" I ask with concern filling up my features.

"Shepard, remember how I told you about my father and what he's done?"

"Yeah, of course I remember that bastard." I say while remembering what she told him before.

She smiles at what he calls her father and tells Shepard about Oriana, about how Cerberus provides protection for her and about how she keeps her safe and makes sure she has the life that Miranda never had.

I nod and say, "Alright where do we have to go? We can recall the crew and can leave immediately Miranda."

'_Wow, I never expected this from him, that he would do that for me'_ she thinks to herself with butterfly's in her stomach.

"Actually it's just here on Illium. I can lead you to my sources meeting point."

"Alright but we can't do this alone, we have no idea how many mercenaries your father will send for her and we can't go in without a plan. We can bring Garrus along, I trust him."

"What, why?" She says, '_But then more people will find out about her and the more dangerous it would be for her_', she thinks to herself.

Shepard quickly sensing her concerns says reassuringly to her. "Miranda, I know how hard it is for you to trust people, and I understand how important it is that she stays safe. But I need you to trust me on this on, Garrus is like a brother to me, he can keep a secret. And if not, I'll kick his arse myself okay?"

After a moment of hesitation she says, "Alright, okay, I trust you Shepard, we can bring him along."

I walk up to her and gently grab her shoulder. "Miranda, I promise you, as long as I'm still breathing I will not allow any harm to her well being. Okay?" He says with such determination and kindness that it takes her breath away for a moment.

"Okay Shepard, I believe you." She says while she smiles at him.

"Good, let me armor up and tell Garrus and then we could go." He says while heading out of her office.

'_I don't know what I did to deserve him, I don't even know if I do deserve him but I will not question it. He is a gift. And I will make sure to show that everyday how much he's worth_.'

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**Well guys hope you enjoyed the little one shot that I made, it's my first ever writing a story and I hope to do more in the future, please review and say your honest opinion. Thanks** :)


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